Right around this time every year, I always get a little depressed about being single. As you may or may not remember, Jeff and I broke up in November. Soon after, I watched all of my friends celebrate Christmas with their boyfriends, and I was the only one who didn't have someone to kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve. You would think I'd be happy again once those holidays are done, but my school has a dance in February every year, so everyone starts to find their dates in January. Then BAM -- Valentine's Day happens. Before I know it, everyone is getting asked to prom.
These holidays wouldn't be so depressing if I had other single friends. But I don't. My life essentially consists of being the third wheel, or the fifth wheel, or the seventh wheel... you get the point. And even when I do go to a school dance, it's usually with a guy friend. Let me tell you, it's pretty awkward being the only couple in the group that's not an actual couple.
You think I'm kidding about how many of my friends are in relationships? Let's take a quick look.
Nikki and Jake
Dating for one year 2 months
Sadie and Carson
Dating for 2 years
Elena and Zach
Dating for 2 years
(Yes, they were Homecoming King and Queen!)
Abby and Torin
Dating for 1 year 10 months
Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for my friends. They are all extremely happy with their boyfriends and I don't wish them anything less. It just makes it difficult to hang out with them when all they talk about is their boyfriends. It's also hard to make plans with them because they are always with their boyfriends.
Now, I do have a few friends who are single, but they all have guys that they're "talking to" at the moment (AKA almost dating). Katie has Alex, Amanda has Jonathan, Lauren has Jake... and then there's me. Believe me, it's a great time.
My question is, how do I deal with this? Looking at my friends above, you can see that I've been dealing with this for two years now. Tips or advice for me? Leave it in the comments below.
Where else can you find me today?
Chasing Birdies {Recommended Read} by Angie at My So-Called Chaos
Juggling a Blog and School - my guest post over at Faith Love Strength!
Now, I do have a few friends who are single, but they all have guys that they're "talking to" at the moment (AKA almost dating). Katie has Alex, Amanda has Jonathan, Lauren has Jake... and then there's me. Believe me, it's a great time.
My question is, how do I deal with this? Looking at my friends above, you can see that I've been dealing with this for two years now. Tips or advice for me? Leave it in the comments below.
Where else can you find me today?
Chasing Birdies {Recommended Read} by Angie at My So-Called Chaos
Juggling a Blog and School - my guest post over at Faith Love Strength!
I didn't have a boyfriend--ever--until I was a Junior in college. Finding the single people is usually a great way to go. And don't ever feel pressured to be with a guy just for the sake of being with somebody--the pain of an inevitable breakup isn't worth the temporary ability to fit in with the others!
ReplyDeleteWhat I mostly did when I was single was hang out with groups of single guys (I always happened to knows a bunch of guys without girlfriends, it seemed). No pressure of dating, because we were always in a group, but it really was lots of fun. I miss those days!
First off, I hope your girlfriends read this post.. and if not.. I think you should have a talk with each of them and explain how hard it is for the reasons you listed above. I also think you should suggest one night a week or a month.. whatever works for you.. where you and your girlfriends go out without the guys and have a rule of NO BOYFRIEND TALK ON GIRLS NIGHT OUT. If they are true friends this should not be a problem for them. You are young still. You have many years to find the man of your dreams..And when the time is right, he will show up. I promise! xoxo
ReplyDeleteIf you ever want to feel a little better about being single, I can give you a list of reason ;) We'll not tell my husband though, okay?
ReplyDeleteI decided not to date at all throughout high school. I'm so glad I made that decision. Sure, it can be lonely. My friends had boyfriends, but sometimes it seems like so much drama to deal with. I find my time being single to be awesome! I get to meet tons of guys and just be friends. I go on mini adventures with my family and hang out with my other single friends. I say enjoy your time being single! Just live, find who you are and discover what you want in a guy. You gain a lot of experience just by watching your friends relationships too :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kisha- you need to talk to your friends and establish that it is not appropriate to talk about boyfriends all night if you are having a girl's night. While this doesn't mean they can never talk about them, it is healthy for them to have interests outside of their boyfriends (just like sometimes mum's will have nights where they ban talking about kids). Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteI have never had a boyfriend and I am in college. There are days that it is hard but I honestly know that God has a plan for me and that when he is ready he will bring someone for me to marry. I do get a little sad on valentine's day but I try and spend the day with close friends and I try not to let it bother me that I am single. I have a favorite band called BarlowGirl(well they aren't a band anymore) but anyway, none of them have EVER dated a guy and they are all in their thirties. They have a song called Average girl which I love. I hope that even in the midst of all of your friends dating that you able to find comfort in the fact that God does have a perfect plan for your life and that in his timing which is always the best timing, he will reveal that plan to you. Also, it helps to have a few great friends who you know that you can to for support and help when you are feeling lonely or whatever. Know that I am always there if you want to talk about anything. Don't hesitate to contact me, information is on my blog :) Here is the video.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnb9A6uc9fI
Blessings,
Jessica
Here is my blog: http://mybeautifulli.blogspot.com/
Honey in this situation I'm afraid no advice will make you feel better. However, what I want to tell you with all my heart is: focus on yourself, on your goals, on what makes you feel good. As soon as you love yourself, you will come across someone who will love you as much, and respect you. With love, Coco
ReplyDeleteShelby, I can really relate to how you´re feeling but it´s better to be single than to be in an unhappy relationship don´t you agree?!
ReplyDeleteI know it sounds odd but YOUR guy will come your way eventually and until then pamper yourself on those typical couple days like Valentine´s Day. Treat yourself to a mani-pedi or even a movie night with yourself, have your favorite food, etc.
You´ll prevail!
xoxo
Being single is something I had to get used to the past two years. I used to be the one who had the boyfriend while everyone else was single. Now it's the other way around. I'm the single one and everyone else has a bf or gf.
ReplyDeleteJust stay positive and don't compare your life to theirs. Thats where a lot of unhappimess comes from.
There are so many perks to being single! Things you can do that you can't do while you're in a relationship, like branch out and flirt with anyone you want! You don't have to call anyone or check up with anyone about your plans for the night. Plus being single lets you have plenty of time for self reflection, only making you stronger! The right guy will come along and sweep you off your feet, and he will be worth all the fifth wheel dates you've been on!
I started dating my boyfriend my sophomore year of high school, so I was one of the "couples" but the boy and I made it a point to never make anyone feel like the third wheel. If it's getting out of hand, maybe you can chat with a couple of the girls you're closest to and let them know that you're feeling a little third-wheelish. I'm sure they'd adjust without even thinking twice about it. Maybe make a couple new single friends? If your high school is anything like mine was, that's easier said than done, but it could be fun to branch out a little. Besides, Blake is right! You can get your flirt on! Annnd, I can tell you this - when the boy went off to college and I was still in high school, that was a rough transition. At least you'll be spared that!
ReplyDeleteIf you ever wanna talk about whatever, my inbox is always open my dear.
I would take this time to focus on YOU. Go pamper yourself, get your nails done, go do a little retail therapy. Being single only gives you the freedom to do what you want when you want. See a cute guy? Go flirt! & You could always invite your friends out for a girls night, or have a spa day with them. Have a talk with them and let them know you feel like a third wheel, I'm sure they will understand.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Kenzie Smith ^^^^. Take time for yourself and do anything and everything you want to do. The other piece of advice I have is to EXUDE CONFIDENCE! It is really nice to just sort of "date around" for a while and see what's out there. It is also important to know you don't NEED a boyfriend! He will come around, though. But until then, JUST HAVE FUN! Like I said, though, confidence is key, single or not. Even if you don't feel confident, pretend like you do. It makes a huge difference. :)
ReplyDeletecoming from a young, married lady {me}, take this time in your life to enjoy being single & learning more about yourself. boys are great & of course have their rightful place in a girl's life, but don't stress about being single! if all of your girls are busy with their boyfriends then hang out with some other people and build stronger relationships with new friends...or family? haha sounds lame i'm sure, but family can actually be fun!!
ReplyDeletenew follower :)
www.thebechtholts.blogspot.com
This post has come at just the right time for me. I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half around the same time as you (mine was the end of October) and I truly had the roughest 3 months of my life. I know I'm slowly getting better and more confident and comfortable with myself but it's more of an adjustment than I realized. Until you go through a major breakup, you never really know how it'll feel. I would never wish this on anyone, but it has definitely made me stronger.
ReplyDeleteAll of my close friends are in relationships as well so I am in the same exact boat as you. I know this is probably weird, but if you ever want to talk I would LOVE for you to email me. We may not really know each other but it sometimes helps to talk to someone who isn't your close friend or relative (I'm quickly growing sick of discussing my failed relationship with my mom :)!) My email is catiescott@verizon.net. Don't feel obligated, but if you're ever feeling down, send me a quick email and I'd love to talk!
booksbeautyandbars.blogspot.com
Oh honey, I totally feel you on this one! I've been single most of forever and I have been the third wheel a lot! *hugs*
ReplyDelete